Medens Health

Have you ever noticed how many thoughts your brain serves up each day? One moment you’re confident and clear, the next you’re spiraling with doubt. Thoughts can shift from hopeful to harsh in a matter of minutes—and often, they contradict each other completely.

That’s because thoughts aren’t facts. They’re mental events—some based in reality, others rooted in fear, habit, or past experience. Still, they have a powerful effect. The thoughts we believe shape how we feel, how we act, and how we see ourselves. And when certain thoughts start doing harm, it’s time to pause and ask: Is this actually true?
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You Are Not Your Thoughts

Your mind is like a narrator that never stops talking. Some of what it says is helpful: “Remember to email your therapist.” Some of it is random or funny: “What if ducks wore tiny socks?” But some thoughts carry weight: “I’m a burden.” “They don’t really like me.” “I’ll never be good enough.”

The problem is, we often believe these thoughts without question—especially when they trigger shame, fear, or anxiety. But just because a thought feels true doesn’t mean it is true. You can have a thought without letting it define you.
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How Thoughts Impact Emotions and Behavior

Here’s how it typically works:
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Thought → Feeling → Behavior

Let’s say the thought is: “I’m going to fail at this presentation.”

That thought triggers anxiety and dread.
You procrastinate, avoid practicing, or obsess over every detail.
The more you avoid, the more anxious you feel—which then reinforces the original thought. It also makes it much more likely that you won’t do well on the presentation.

Or maybe the thought is: “My friend didn’t text back… they must be mad at me.”

You feel guilt or worry.
You over-apologize, replay the interaction endlessly, or distance yourself to avoid rejection.
Maybe your friend was just busy, but your worry-fueled behavior toward them after the thought took hold actually can impact the dynamic.

When left unchallenged, thoughts like these become self-fulfilling. That’s why learning to slow down and question them can change everything.
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Why It’s Important to Question Harmful Thoughts

Some thoughts are accurate and helpful. Others are distortions—shaped by old wounds, fear-based assumptions, or unrealistic expectations.

For example, if you were criticized a lot growing up, your brain might default to thoughts like “I mess everything up” when something goes wrong. Even if it’s not true, the thought still affects your mood, confidence, and choices.

Questioning your thoughts helps you slow down and look at them with clarity, curiosity, and self-compassion. It’s about asking: Is this thought helping me—or hurting me?
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The Socratic Method for Thought Challenging

The Socratic method is a simple, powerful tool that therapists often use to help clients examine their thoughts more objectively. Think of it like playing detective—with your own mind.

Let’s say your thought is: “Nobody really likes me.” Here’s how you might work through it:

What is the exact thought I’m having?
→ “Nobody likes me.”
What evidence supports this thought?
→ I haven’t been invited out much lately.
What evidence goes against it?
→ My coworker asked me to lunch. My friend texted me yesterday. I had a great conversation with my sister last week.
Am I confusing a feeling with a fact?
→ Yes—I feel lonely right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m unlikable.
Am I mind-reading or jumping to conclusions?
→ Yes—I’m assuming what others think without asking.
What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
→ I’d remind them of all the people who care about them, and tell them that one quiet week doesn’t define their worth.
What’s a more balanced or compassionate way of looking at this?
→ “I’m feeling disconnected right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m unlikable. Relationships ebb and flow—I can reach out and reconnect.”

Over time, practicing this process helps your brain create new, healthier patterns of thinking. You learn to pause before spiraling—and respond to your inner world with more kindness and truth.
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Change Takes Time—And Support Helps

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Challenging your thoughts can feel strange or even scary at first—especially if you’ve spent years believing your inner critic. But with practice, it gets easier. You build mental flexibility. You catch distortions before they run the show. Most importantly, you start trusting yourself again.

It can be very difficult to get the process started, which is why getting support from a mental health provider is a good first step. A therapist or psychologist can help you recognize the thoughts that are holding you back, untangle old beliefs, and build tools for thinking more clearly and compassionately.
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Develop a Kinder Inner Voice With Medens Health

You don’t have to believe every thought that crosses your mind—especially the ones that make you feel small, afraid, or ashamed. At Medens Health, our providers are here to help you slow down, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and reconnect with a more grounded version of yourself. We offer both in-person and virtual therapy to help you start your journey to a kinder inner voice and a more peaceful mental space. Reach out to our team today!

Get started here, call or text (833) 624-5400, or fill out our contact form today!

^Disclaimer:

^{The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information this blog provides is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions regarding your medical or mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who is qualified to give you safe, professional, and ethical advice regarding your mental health.}

^{If you or someone you are responsible for is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should call 9-1-1 and/or take them to the nearest emergency room.}‍

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