You may have heard that forgiveness helps you more than it helps the person you’re forgiving, but… does it really? When you’ve been hurt by someone, forgiving them can feel like a huge sacrifice - and all for their benefit. However, holding on to hurt and anger has been proven to be detrimental to both our physical and mental health. Read on to learn why letting go really is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Holding on to hurt and disappointment takes a significant physical toll. Constantly replaying negative events in your mind can flood your thoughts with negativity and repressed anger. This chronic anger triggers the fight-or-flight response, leading to a cascade of physiological changes—alterations in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response among them. These changes, in turn, elevate the risk of developing conditions such as depression, heart disease, and diabetes. This means that the lingering resentment becomes not only a mental weight, but also a profound threat to your overall physical well-being.
Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of resentment, anger, or vengeance toward a person or group. It involves letting go of negative emotions and fostering an attitude of understanding.
Research indicates that individuals with a natural inclination toward forgiveness often report higher life satisfaction and lower levels of depression, anxiety, stress, anger, and hostility. On the contrary, those who harbor grudges are more susceptible to severe conditions such as depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), along with an increased risk of various health issues. The act of forgiveness, it seems, extends beyond emotional well-being, profoundly influencing both mental and physical health.
Forgiving has numerous benefits, including:
Forgiveness is a profound process that involves reflection, empathy, and a conscious decision to let go of resentment. It can be challenging, so here are some steps you can follow to help you in the process.
Embarking on the path of forgiveness is a challenging, personal, and transformative journey. These tips can serve as guideposts, fostering healing and paving the way for a more liberated and emotionally balanced life.
Forgiving is a powerful and beneficial act, but it’s important to recognize that it doesn’t obligate you to grant permission for harmful behavior. It doesn't erase the consequences of others’ actions, nor does it mean re-establishing trust immediately. It is simply about freeing yourself from the emotional burden of holding onto anger by releasing negative feelings towards a person who has wronged you.
To keep yourself from getting hurt again, it's crucial to understand the distinction between forgiveness and setting healthy boundaries. When you set boundaries, you establish clear guidelines for your interactions with others to maintain your peace and well-being. Boundaries are crucial, especially when someone has repeatedly crossed lines or harmed you.
While some may feel that setting boundaries means you haven’t really forgiven someone, forgiveness and setting boundaries can (and should) coexist. This may involve limiting contact, clearly communicating your expectations, or seeking professional help when necessary. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is not a sign of holding onto a grudge; rather, it's an act of self-respect. It shows that you value yourself enough to safeguard your emotional and mental well-being. Healthy boundaries also communicate to others that certain behaviors are not acceptable, promoting healthier relationships. It's entirely possible to forgive someone while establishing and maintaining boundaries that protect your emotional and mental health. Striking this balance is key to fostering your own healing and creating space for healthier connections.
Forgiveness is a skill that many of us need to develop. If you find yourself ruminating over how someone has hurt you and would like to let go of those negative emotions, therapy can help you learn to forgive and move forward. At Medens Health, our compassionate therapists create a judgment-free environment where you can process past events and work on building a healthier, happier future. Reach out to us by phone or text at (833) 624-5400, send us a message using our online contact form, or get started here!
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information provided in this blog is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical or mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who is qualified to give you safe, professional, and ethical advice regarding your mental health.
If you or someone you are responsible for is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should call 9-1-1 and/or take them to the nearest emergency room.
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