Feel It to Heal It: How Allowing Your Emotions Sets You Free

Most of us have been taught—directly or indirectly—that some feelings are “too much.” Maybe you learned to keep your pain quiet, hold your tears in, or push through without slowing down. But avoiding your emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it just buries them deeper. And eventually, they start to leak out in other ways: tension, irritability, numbness, anxiety, and burnout. The hard truth is that what we don’t feel, we can’t heal; the only way out is through.

Are You Letting Yourself Feel?

It’s not always easy to recognize emotional avoidance, especially if it’s grown to become your default. You might not even realize you’re doing it. Maybe you stay busy all the time. Maybe you scroll social media to distract yourself, “stay strong” so you won’t bother anyone, or focus on other people’s needs. Maybe you feel flat, disconnected, or overwhelmed by even the smallest frustrations. 

If any of that sounds familiar, here’s something to consider: Are you giving yourself permission to feel what’s really there? Not just the “acceptable” emotions—but the messy ones too? Anger. Sadness. Shame. Grief. Even joy, if it feels too vulnerable. Do you sit with those feelings, or do you immediately try to distract yourself from (or talk yourself out of) feeling them?

Why We Avoid Emotions—And Why That Keeps Us Stuck

Emotional avoidance is often a survival strategy that we develop for valid reasons. Maybe you grew up in an environment where unpleasant emotions weren’t welcomed or safe. Maybe big feelings were met with punishment, shame, or silence. Or maybe, during a crisis, you had to shut your feelings down just to survive.

Avoiding emotions can be a protective strategy. But over time, it creates a build-up inside. Unfelt feelings don’t go away—they resurface as physical symptoms (muscle tension, headaches, high blood pressure, etc), irritability, chronic stress, or emotional numbness. They can lead to burnout, relationship issues, and a sense of being “off” without knowing why.

What Does It Actually Mean to 'Feel Your Feelings'?

Let’s be honest—phrases like “sit with your feelings” or “give your emotions permission” can sound abstract. It’s easy to nod along without knowing what to do.

Here’s what it’s not:

• Wallowing in pain or spiraling endlessly
• Getting stuck in self-judgment
• Forcing yourself to feel better right away

Here’s what it is:

• Noticing what you're feeling without trying to fix or explain it
• Naming your emotions with honesty and kindness
• Making space for the discomfort—because emotions are waves, and they pass when they’re allowed to rise

When you feel your feelings, you create a pathway for healing. You show yourself that all parts of you are allowed to exist.

How to Sit With Your Feelings (Without Getting Overwhelmed)

If you want to start making more space for your emotions, here’s a gentle, step-by-step approach:

1. Pause and Check In: Find a quiet moment and turn your attention inward. Ask: What am I feeling right now? Try not to analyze—just notice.
   
   
2. Name It Gently: Use simple words: angry, sad, hurt, confused, relieved. Naming your emotion activates the thinking part of your brain, which helps calm the overwhelm.
   
   
3. Notice It in Your Body: Where does this emotion live? Do you feel tightness in your chest? Pain in your stomach? A lump in your throat? Bringing awareness to the physical sensation can help you stay grounded.
   
   
4. Give It Permission: Say to yourself: “It’s okay that I feel this. I don’t need to push it away.” No judgment. No timeline. Remind yourself that everyone feels this way sometimes.
   
   
5. Breathe Through It: Try some breathwork exercises, or just take a few slow, steady breaths. Let the emotion be there without trying to change it. Trust that it will move through you—because it will.
   
   
6. Offer Yourself Compassion: Place a hand on your heart and say something kind to yourself, such as: “This is hard. And I’m doing the best I can.”

This process may feel awkward at first—but over time, it becomes a powerful way to build emotional resilience and self-trust.

Work With Medens Health to Unlock Your Emotions

Feeling your feelings sounds simple, but it’s not always easy—especially if you’ve had to shut them down for a long time. Therapy can provide a safe, compassionate space to reconnect with your emotional world. A therapist or psychologist can help you learn how to sit with discomfort, understand the patterns beneath your pain, and create space for healing—at your own pace, in your own way.

At Medens Health, we believe that all feelings are welcome—and that healing starts with allowing yourself to feel. Our providers are here to support you in reconnecting with yourself and moving forward with self-compassion and clarity.

Get started here, call or text (833) 624-5400, or fill out our contact form today!